Building Self Esteem Essay Example

Building Self Esteem Paper Building Self-esteem Abstract A lot of people suffer from the lack of self-confidence and often they don’t know the real reason. They unconsciously show this reason, low self-esteem. It’s very difficult for them to reach the goal they set and often they think the reason is their dis-abilities. They don’t trust in their skills. In reality no one is fully confident, because confidence isn’t general. You may feel confident in some field, while not in another one. So everyone needs to know the reasons and signs of lack of self-confidence, and of course ways to build self-esteem. This essay consists of all necessary information, which is necessary to struggle with this psychological problem. Building Self-esteem Nowadays, the psychological disorders and problems are main reason of discomfort while they cause a lot of other problems. It’s proved that a problem with self-esteem is most frequent. Because of no one is self-confident with 100%, everyone should work on building its own self-esteem, because if you don’t love yourself and don’t appreciate yourself properly, no one will do. Self-esteem is the opinion you have about you. Self-confidence is belief that you can achieve everything you want, you have potential of success and you trust you abilities. It’s based on the attitude your strengths and weaknesses, your independence and social status. It’s knowing that you don’t miss any skill which is necessary for success. Self-esteem gives you the energy and ability to complete the task or work you begin (Self-help brochure). The belief that self-confidence is inherited is the myth. It’s learned. You may feel confidence in one activity, while opposite in the different one. We will write a custom essay sample on Building Self Esteem specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on Building Self Esteem specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on Building Self Esteem specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer It’s not constant at the same time, it may increase or decrease due to new events happening in life (Radwan, 2006). People who aren’t self-confident depend on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They are risk-averse people, because they are afraid of failure, and so they miss a lot of available opportunities and this fact decreases the chances of success (Self-help brochure). There are a lot of reasons, which cause low self-confidence: wrong upbringing, inferiority complex, perfectionism, negative self-talk, poor self-image (Radwan, 2006). A lot of is depended on parents, how they treat with their children. They have a very important role in developing their child’s self-image. Also they have to teach them, how to estimate each situation. If parents are shouting and fighting because of every minor mistakes (e. g. staining clothes, breaking some things.. ) the result is that child starts thinking that making mistakes is shameful, that others are perfect, who don’t do mistakes and child feels inferiority. Parent should provide acceptance, because if they are too critical and discourage child from independence, child may believe he’s inadequate and inferior. As a result child will suffer from the lack of self-confidence (Self-help brochure). It’s proved that lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability. It is often the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others, especially parents and society. Friends influences can be more powerful than those of parents and society in shaping feelings about oneself. Children in their yearly age re-examine their attitudes and values, develop their identities and they often feel pressure from friends (Self-help brochure). Inferiority complex is a disorder that develops as a result of feeling inferior when compared to your peers or friends. This can act as a barrier to building self-confidence and so it is necessary to deal with it first (Radwan, 2006). Another great cause for a lack of self-confidence is being a perfectionist. A perfectionist always sets impossible goals and very high standards that he can never achieve and this causes his confidence to degrade as he fails again and again. They often think I must never make mistakes if I want to be great at what I do (Radwan, 2006). Telling negative words and phrases about you during the normal thinking process degrades the self-esteem as well (Radwan, 2006). It’s necessary to talk about the poor self-image during discussing lack of self-confidence. If you feel that you feel more confident during wearing your best shirt that while you were something else, that the reason of your lack of self-confidence is your poor self-image. Self-image is how you think about yourself: what kind of person you are, how you look, what’s your personal or social status. And poor self-image is when you are unhappy how you look, ou’re very pessimistic and think there is no hope for you (Radwan, 2006). There are a lot of signs which shows if a person suffers from the lack of self-confidence: shyness, aggression, over-sensitivity, attention seeking, self-consciousness, dependence on others, immediately replying on criticism, explaining every mistake and action, becoming a perfectionist and being unreasonably proud. Body language is also talking a lot of about it (UT learning center, 2006). Unconfident people give reasons for every action they do. They think others are perfect and are ashamed of little mistakes. So they try to give explanation to their actions and often are getting in the awkward situation. People with the law self-esteem can’t understand that making mistakes is the right of human and so many excuses aren’t necessary (Radwan, 2006). Everyone has experienced the situation, when you give someone a small critical comment and he returns immediately it but in an aggressive way. That shows that he lacks self confidence. People with high self-esteem listen to their critics and analyze them, if it’s constructive they get them, if not, it doesn’t bother them very much (Radwan, 2006). Some of these people try to hide their inferiority complex by their arrogance. Everyone has his own weak and strong points and it’s not necessary to compensate for these weaknesses. Again, no one is perfect (Radwan, 2006). Body language is one of the trustworthy ways to know if someone feels lack of self-confidence. As usual such people take the defensive position, which means standing (or sitting) with arms folded accompanied by crossing legs. Confident people rarely take this position (Radwan, 2006). Perfectionism is one of the main reasons of lack of self-confidence. They try to do everything perfectly because they consider the world perfect and they become upset when they get 99% instead of 100% (Radwan, 2006). Building self-esteem isn’t difficult if you concentrate and if you have wish. As UT learning center studied for developing self-confidence is necessary to accept yourself as you are, respect yourself, your abilities, your needs, focus on your strengths not on weaknesses, set realistic goals you can reach, develop good self-image and don’t blame others for your own mistakes, and don’t think others are perfect (Self-help brochure). Give yourself the credit for everything you do. Applaud yourself after every success, even if it’s little. Praise yourself for efforts rather than end products (Self-help brochure). Don’t miss a chance because of fear of losing. Important is experience, not winning or losing. Use every opportunity and be risk-lover (Self-help brochure). Use self-talk (not negative self-talk) and often remind yourself that you can’t do everything perfectly and get yourself as you are (Self-help brochure). Try to evaluate yourself independently and objectively, this will reduce your dependence on others attitudes about you. Focus on how you feel about your behavior, work and etc. this will develop your identity and will prevent you from giving your personal power away to others (Self-help brochure). Body language can make others think that you are confident even if you are not. Clasping the hand in front of the stomach, putting your hands behind your back, straight back, making your finger tips touch and walking with wide steps are all signs of self confidence. Clear tone of voice, well structured phrases, and assertive body language shows your high self-esteem (Radwan, 2006). Accept criticism with smile and try to analyze it with your cold mind (Radwan, 2006). Finally, when you are self-confident, you are happy, sure of yourself, highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed. You feel independent; you don’t depend on others approval and can make decisions without a lot of hesitation. References Are You Singing the Low Self-Esteem Blues? Retrieved January 8, 2008, from http://bipolar. about. com/od/copingresources/a/lowselfesteem. htm Perera, K. (2007). What is Self-esteem? Retrieved January 7, 2008, from http://www. more-selfesteem. com/whatisselfesteem. htm Radwan, F. (2006). Poor Self-image and Poor body-image. The Ultimate Source for Self Understanding. Retrieved January 7, 2008, from http://www. 2knowmyself. com/self_body_image/poor_self_image